“You’re not doing a home birth. It’s not going to happen. No way!”
My husband was avidly against having a midwife and home birth from the very first time I brought it up to him. “We didn’t do any of this for Kevin!?” (our first son) he would say. ” The hospital is safer, it’s like having a life jacket on a boat, you hope you don’t need to use it,but it’s always there just in case.” My midwife and homebirth storie begins with me dealing with my husbands and families fears, anxiety and ignorances regarding midwives and home births. Constant tears, arguing and defending factual current information about both topics became the norm. Along with feeling alone, unsupported and discouraged about a decision I had made for myself a long time ago.
My first pregnancy went perfectly…from a physical health and wellness point of view. No complications and a healthy and happy baby boy born at the local hospital. Except for me, it was an experience plagued with a lack of options, information, humility, and mother/baby bonding. I felt so sad and disappointed with the way it turned out, but with the addition of a newborn, life quickly kept me very busy and my mind had to accept it.
Fast forward 7 years and one miscarriage later and I was a different person. When I found out I was pregnant I told myself that I refused to have an experience like the one I had before. I started doing some serious thinking about what I wanted this birth and experience to be like, not just for me, but now for my almost 7 year old son and husband. In the end I wanted to feel empowered. I wanted to have knowledge, options, support, the involvement of my family and not have 8 million people, who I don’t know, seeing and sticking their hands in my vagina!! After doing lots of research and web browsing I found Midwifery Traditions. It had great reviews, close to my home and seemed to align with what I was looking for. So after many serious and emotional discussions, I was able to talk my husband into all of us going for a consultation visit with Kathy at Midwifery Traditions. That way we could all ask questions and voice our concerns and get a feel for Kathy and what this whole experience might be like.
To my immense relief and joy, Kathy was able to put my husbands fears, and any of mine, at more ease. She was professional, confident, extremely knowledgeable, down to earth, and provided resssurance about her views on dealing with complications, should they arise. Kathy took her time in answering all our questions with additional information and details and we never felt rushed or blown off regardless of what we asked. She made us feel apart of the family and was extremely willing to answer any further questions we might have if we decided to move forward. After that, my husband and I spoke more about the decision and we agreed on seeing Kathy, staying with Midwifery Traditions and having a home birth. Yay!!
Over the course of my pregnancy, every time I left from seeing Kathy, I was blown away by the information and knowledge I got from her. I learned things about the workings of my body and pregnancy that I had never known before and that I CERTAINLY was never told by my prior doctors with my first son. She provided my husband and I with all the details of how to best prepare the house and what supplies we needed for the birth. She also gave me helpful ideas to do with my son to help get him ready for what the birth could be like. It felt like I had known her much longer than I had and my confidence and faith that this birthing experience was going to be perfect for me and my family, became truly established.
My water broke at home around 8:45pm the night before my due date. My husband sprung into action getting things ready and my son ran around the house saying “the baby is coming” with the most heart warming excited smile ever. I called Kathy around 10:15 when my contractions became too hard to talk through and close together. She arrived quickly and calmly and I got myself into the birth pool. She made sure I had eaten something and was drinking plently of fluids. During labor Kathy was calm and gave quiet, kind, but firm reassurance of how I was doing. The nurse showed up shortly after and she was also very calm and kind. Once I got to active labor and was really physically pushing myself, Kathy and the nurse were supportive and extremely attentive and prepared. They reminded me of a well oiled machine. All I needed to do was concentrate on what I was doing and bringing my baby into this world. Looking around right before my baby was born I remember seeing my sons face watching intently and my husband holding my hand through it all. And then seeing Kathy and the nurse and knowing these two people are truly invested in me, my family and this baby that was about to be born. I wasn’t just patient number 3725 that they saw that day. They were just as excited and caring about this baby as I was. With no complications and a few hard and fast pushes later, my son was born, on his due date at 12:45am. Healthy and hungry!
After the birth Kathy and the nurse worked thoroughly to stitch me up and check the baby and get all his testing and measurements done. Once that was over, Kathy and the nurses did most of the major clean up work so my husband and I could focus on the baby. They both stayed till I had eaten something and was in bed with the baby. I never felt like they were rushing or eager to leave, even though it was 3:15 am! In the days that followed Kathy came back to do more tests and check up on the baby and me. She always took her time and answered questions with details and information. She made herself easily available by phone and was quick to respond with any follow up questions I had about myself or my son.
This birth was everything I had ever hoped for. I was able to feel supported, loved, confident, respected and empowered through the entire process, start to finish and then some! I will forever be thankful for meeting Kathy and her major role in providing an unforgettable, deeply important and beautiful pregnancy and birthing experience.