Anabella Mia’s Birth Story

Calm before the storm (last days of pregnancy)

Because I have had two pregnancies before this, I imagined that labor would begin again for me when I was 41 weeks pregnant (DD1 was born at 41+2 weeks, DD2 was born at 41+1 weeks– both non medicated, natural hospital births). I had been working full time all the way through the pregnancy and sought to work until I was in labor so that I could have maximum time at home with my newborn. I told all of my clients that I was due late September, but prepared them, and myself, that my babies like to “cook” a bit longer and intended to work through the first week of October. I love being pregnant, and so I was in no rush for the baby to come. The last week of pregnancy was uneventful actually. I had no signs of labor on the horizon. There was nothing outside of being hugely pregnant to concern me. I had NOT expected for labor to start at 39+1 weeks in the middle of the night!

Labor starts (early!?)

I was up late the night before labor started. By the time I actually decided to go to bed, it was about 12:30-1am. I had a dream that I couldn’t recall as I woke up at 2:40am because I was certain I had just peed the bed! I woke with a strange thought that maybe my water had broken in my sleep. Maybe I had just had a dream I was in the water and I peed on accident? But this wasn’t just a small amount of fluid, my bed was heavily saturated and it wet through my clothes. I remember being so puzzled. “Labor can’t start when I’m not even 40 weeks along yet!” I woke my husband, Milton, up and told him I think my water just broke but that I wasn’t sure. He woke up and looked even more confused than me (“what???). . He blankly looked at me, and we talked about the possibility that it was just pee. We must have talked about this for a few minutes before I used the bathroom and was able to actually pee (confirming I had a full bladder, so my waters HAD broken! Even though I still didn’t believe it yet). When I came back from the bathroom I was still dripping wetness.

I called my mom first to tell her, “I think my waters broke, please come over” since she lives 2.5 hours away, I knew I had to give her the most notice. She was nervous and excited and said she didn’t have any bags ready but she would leave soon. I called my midwife, to explain the situation, then and she said calmly and matter of a factly, “yes, your waters have broken” and I said “really? You think so?” Ha! She explained that nothing may happen for a while but to call her back when contractions started up. I think that’s when I had my “oh crap, were having a baby today” moment. Cue the “I dont have all the supplies and baby stuff I need yet!” thoughts. In fact, I had ordered the last of the birth supplies I needed offline the day before labor began, and they were due to arrive in three days! I was so sure I was going to be “overdue” again in this pregnancy too that I waited to gather all my supplies and baby items.

Because I felt gross and because my last labor for DD2 was 4.5 hours long, from first contraction to baby in my arms, I decided to shower alone while Milton busied himself with prepping the video camera for the room, while I still had a chance. The shower was soothing as I had many thoughts in my brain. “Is this really happening? Will it be a boy or girl? Will the midwife and my mom get here in time? Is this a contraction???” I hadn’t had nearly any braxton hicks before labor, but I recognized the waves of pressure and slight pain during that shower. I remember leaning my back into the warm water streams as the contractions started. I washed my hair and shaved (unsure of when I would have enough time to that for a while!). I had to stop and close my eyes during these early contractions but managed to get out of the shower alone.

I was still leaking amniotic fluid with each step and had to sit on a folded towel whenever I wanted to sit down on the bed. Being wet was annoying but I was having mild contractions every 3-5 minutes by the time I got out of my shower. I was excited but nervous. A new baby was coming and every contraction was getting me closer to meeting my new squishy!

Prepping for baby’s arrival

Milton and I fiddled with camera angles in the room, then stripped the bed of the wet sheets and redressed it in 3 layers so we could easily strip a layer if needed during the birth. We were both busy reorganizing the room and gathering the birth supplies from around the apartment. I thought about how different this experience was already in not having to consider leaving my apartment when things progressed further (leaving during active labor was a huge stressor for me during DD1 and DD2 births). Planning to stay home was actually more comforting and familiar than leaving in the middle of my most vulnerable state. But I was still having many thoughts; was I really going to be successful having a home birth? Would I need to get transferred to a hospital even though it was a very healthy pregnancy (this was my ultimate worst fear)?

 

Call the midwife

Around 5:20am, our bedroom had been prepared, birth supplies and towels were nearby, the birth pool was inflated and getting filled. Milton checked on me and asked if I needed anything. He brought me water but when he got back from the kitchen, a contraction had started and I silently squeezed his arm through the hardest part. I told him “I think we need to call the midwife” and he did when a contraction was over. He told her the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and I corrected him by saying they were 2-4 minutes apart! I told him to explain that they were much more intense too. The midwife said she was on her way to my home. Milton got me some plums, as per my request, and I started to eat one slowly. Milton stayed by my side consistently thereafter.

Even in the midst of active and intense labor pains, I had a calm about myself because I was on my turf. I trusted my body to do what I needed to do. I made this baby and my body could birth it. I was protective of my space and only the safe people I wanted there were invited. How freeing was that! No strangers to poke and prod at me at any point. No nurses or doctors invading my birth space. No need to do intake paperwork while I’m in active labor. No need to have crazy artificial lights and strange sounds around me. No physicians to “tell me” (what???!!!) how and when and for how long to push. Wow! This homebirth had none of those anxieties involved and this was a huge benefit. It didn’t ease my physical pain, none the least, but psychologically my anxiety was nothing compared to what I had experienced before.

Now, even though my contractions only lasted about a minute long each, while in the middle of one, it feels like FOR.EVER. I was shaking my legs, gritting my teeth, and exhaling hard through them. I attempted to explain the pain to Milton and remember thinking it was like a rollercoaster. The pain starts suddenly, without warning, and QUICKLY escalates  (realistically the peak is less than 60 seconds), but then finally subsides and breathing normally can begin again. I was full on grimacing and squeezing all of my muscles tight to get through these contractions.

I was getting into active labor, and these puppies made early labor feel like a stroll. I was feeling such fatigue with each contraction, and I felt so heavy with the urge to sleep. Of course I couldn’t sleep, but I remembered I had to keep my strength up and ate more of a plum. I sat on the edge of my bed most of this time until my mom arrived. I had to turn on the air conditioner to stay cool, and maybe this helped me stay more alert too. When she came in I was in the middle of a contraction and she was so nervous. I noted her presence in the room but couldn’t greet, or even acknowledge her until the contraction subsided. It was so exciting to have my mom there! She was present for both of my births before too. It was important that she was there. She traded places with Milton to hold my hand through some contractions and talked to me about family stories (good distraction).

I tried to remember what I had heard about labor positioning to help ease contractions, but ended up just listening closely to what my body was directing me to do, especially sit during most contractions, stand up for some, and rock for others. It’s amazing how not being limited hospital labor policies can be freeing!  I had total freedom to follow my body’s instructions as I labored. I stood up and kind of bounced on my legs as I leaned against my bureau as labor intensified further. Milton was an amazing support and he continuously rubbed my lower back during each contractions. His presence and touch was so comforting, but the contractions were running into each other and I was so weak. I couldn’t wait for the midwife to come, she always made me feel at peace and calm and I really could have used more of that right then.

Water labor

In an effort to help with my intense pains, I told Milton I was ready to get into the birth pool. Earlier in the labor, I was hesitant to get into the pool too early, as I heard that it can cause labor to slow down. At that point of labor, the thought that labor could be slowed was welcome! What a total relief it was to be surrounded in (very warm) water! Milton got in with me and continued to deeply rub my back. To Milton and mom’s delight, the midwife arrived a few seconds after Milton got in the water with me around 6:30 am. The sun was just starting to come up and the room was getting lighter. She was so quiet I could have missed her if I hadn’t been expecting her. She washed her hands and whispered to me that she was going to check the baby and used the doppler to check the baby’s heart rate. Her calm filled the room. Milton and Mom didn’t seem as anxious as before. She offered me water and tea, and I drank. She was quiet through the contractions but her presence was what I was most aware of, second to Milton’s touch. Mom was sitting on my bed just patiently waiting (for my daughters to wake up or the baby to come?) by this time.

The contractions didn’t stop in the water but they felt more manageable, even though the severity didn’t subside. I don’t know if I have ever felt so fatigued in my life, as in that labor. At one point I literally thought I would sink into the water because my body was so weak.

I was really listening to all the sounds of the room now, I heard the clicking of cell phone text key tones, alarms, and phone calls. I heard the plastic pool shift under me as I laid on my side and leaned on the frame of the pool, inhaling that vaguely familiar flimsy plastic beach ball smell. My music gave me encouragement and focus during those especially hard contractions. During one of those contractions, I had made a small whining sound and Kathy put her hand on my head and rubbed my hair a few times. I am not sure why, but this felt so motherly and genuine, as if she was saying, “I am really here with you, feeling this with you too.”

I was so desperate to know if labor was progressing that I asked for an internal check. I had told her at one of our first prenatal appointments that I didn’t want to do any cervical checks (during pregnancy or labor– as to reduce risk of germs and infection) and she was totally fine with that. She reminded me that I didn’t want to be checked, which I appreciated but I had changed my mind! When she did check me she said I was 7-8 cm dilated but my cervix still needed to thin more. I was so relieved by this update! Labor was working! Baby was going to come out! I started to get too excited and I pushed lightly with the next few contractions, willing the baby to descend. Kathy reminded me to listen to my body.

I was so wrapped up in my labor that I didn’t even notice for several minutes that about 7am my daughters had woken up and were in the room watching me silently. I had watched birth videos with my kids and explained that I may be loud during labor and that smells/sounds may be scary. I expected my 11 year old to be totally cool and my 6 year old to be scared to death or uninterested. My 6 year old was just sitting, looking serene and pleased. My 11 year old was the worried one.

I think I continued to push tentatively with every other contraction and finally I had real urges to push. This is when I was more vocal than any time before in the labor. I did a low growling sound during these pushing contractions. It’s strange to describe what pushing is like or how you know when to do it. It feels like you really have to go poo, but heavier somehow. It feels like a really heavy poo. Ha! It feels like I have to use the same muscles as when I go to the bathroom but with more ab work and concentration. I think I felt a strong urge to push for at least three to five contractions. Kathy and Milton were behind me as I automatically positioned myself from laying on my side in the water to relaxed squatting in front of Milton as I held on to the plastic pool frame. Someone turned off the air conditioner so that the baby wouldn’t be too cold. At this point the urge to push was so strong I almost didn’t have to think about it, its like I didn’t have a choice but to push. I pushed with each contraction and stopped when my body told me to stop. Kathy reminded me to push slowly and breathe through it, even though I wanted to push with all my remaining energy, and at her words, I slowed down a lot when I felt the most pressure (baby was in birth canal). I pushed one more time and felt relief (almost like a pop)! My baby was born!

Surprise, it’s my baby!

Immediately after the relief, Kathy passed the baby to me from under the water, and I held the baby on my chest at 7:30am. The baby was covered in a THICK layer of vernin head to toe, and had a slimy head covered in hair! I couldn’t move the baby too far because the cord was still attached (I wanted to do “delayed cord clamping” until the umbilical cord stopped pulsating on its own). I rolled over from my knees to a sitting down position and looked at the tiny human that I helped grow in my own body. A baby! My baby!

Words can’t describe that moment. Its like my heart exploded and swelled and stopped and skipped beats and time was still. It was just me, my baby, and Milton in that moment. Everything else outside of us three had a fuzzy edge. My love for this child was so clear before the birth, but meeting my beautiful baby was beyond surreal and emotional. I looked at Milton next to me and we both had tears looking at our baby. We created a life! What a joy! What a blessing! I was overwhelmed and so humbled to be a mom again!

It’s funny that I sat right away with the baby because no one had seen the sex yet! I didn’t want to know the sex of the baby during pregnancy (there are so few surprises in life– and I would know my babies sex for the rest of my life after he or she was born– let me be surprised!) but I used male pronouns nearly exclusively during the pregnancy. My husband really wanted a boy, and I would have been ecstatic to have either, but another girl was secretly my wish. After having a few minutes to revel in the moment, I decided to peek at the sex. Milton looked over my shoulder and said “its a boy!” so proudly, but I looked too, and since I had a better vantage point, I noted he saw the umbilical cord actually, and that it was in fact a girl! His face fell for a fraction of a second when I correctly identified the sex but I knew already that he would be the best daddy to a little girl. A sweet baby girl would help round out a few rough edges 😉 A first born daughter for my husband! A new sister for my daughters! A new granddaughter for my mother! A new daughter for me! A new life that Kathy helped bring into the world!

Prologue

I happy cried many times that day. Our baby girl is perfect in every way and weighed 7 pounds even and 20 inches long (the smallest of my babies! DD1 was 8lbs 6oz and 21 inches; DD2 was 9lb 2oz and 21 inches). The pain of labor went away completely when my baby was born. The cord pulsated for about 20 minutes. I stepped out of the tub with my newborn in my arms (with lots of help) and laid in my bed to deliver the placenta a few minutes later. Milton cut the cord and cut the last physical tie between my newborn and me, about 20 minutes after she was born. How strange to think that until that moment we were literally one. I delivered the placenta easily in one push and Kathy examines it (so cool to see what was the bridge between me and my new baby girl. Kathy examines our newborn and quietly left us in our baby bliss.

We named her Anabella Mia after 4 days of consideration for the perfect name for our sweet love. Her older sisters named her Anabella and we had to decide between Rose and Mia for the middle name. We went back and forth but decided, “let’s nickname her “Mi Bella” (“my beauty” in Spanish) and it stuck. We were enamored. The whole family fell in love with this new human.

As far as birth recovery though, because I listened to my body and pushed when it told me to, and because I listened to Kathy’s advise to push slowly, I didn’t tear at all. My recovery was the easiest of my three births this time, and I think the water birth, squatting position during pushing, and pushing on my own accord (not when doctors told me to push) was the most helpful part of my recovery process (little damage was done).

I would highly recommend a homebirth to anyone on the fence about it. I had an amazing homebirth and plan to do it again if I’m blessed to have more children in the future. There are so many lessons to be learned in labor and birth that I don’t think I got to experience in the hospital those first two times (even though they were intervention and medication free as well). I learned in this experience that I have to trust my body above anything else that is happening. I learned that feeling someone’s presence in the room and feeling a comforting touch can help refocus and reshift anything (even one of the most intense pains!). I learned that women were made to birth and that babies know how to be born. My body not only sustained life, but birthed it (medication and intervention free!), and can continue to nurture life.

I learned that I have amazing strength and that I can lean on this experience when I am faced with difficult situations. I had a baby at home! In a baby pool filled with water! With the loves of my life around me, the newest love of my life came from within me. <3

 

 

“You’re not doing a home birth. It’s not going to happen. No way!”

My husband was avidly against having a midwife and home birth from the very first time I brought it up to him.  “We didn’t do any of this for Kevin!?” (our first son) he would say. ” The hospital is safer, it’s like having a life jacket on a boat, you hope you don’t need to use it,but it’s always there just in case.” My midwife and homebirth storie begins with me dealing with my husbands and families fears, anxiety and ignorances regarding midwives and home births. Constant tears, arguing and defending factual current information about both topics became the norm. Along with feeling alone, unsupported and discouraged about a decision I had made for myself a long time ago.

My first pregnancy went perfectly…from a physical health and wellness point of view. No complications and a healthy and happy baby boy born at the local hospital. Except for me, it was an experience plagued with a lack of options, information, humility, and mother/baby bonding. I felt so sad and disappointed with the way it turned out, but with the addition of a newborn, life quickly kept me very busy and my mind had to accept it.

Fast forward 7 years and one miscarriage later and I was a different person. When I found out I was pregnant I told myself that I refused to have an experience like the one I had before. I started doing some serious thinking about what I wanted this birth and experience to be like, not just for me, but now for my almost 7 year old son and husband. In the end I wanted to feel empowered. I wanted to have knowledge, options, support, the involvement of my family and not have 8 million people, who I don’t know, seeing and sticking their hands in my vagina!! After doing lots of research and web browsing I found Midwifery Traditions. It had great reviews, close to my home and seemed to align with what I was looking for. So after many serious and emotional discussions, I was able to talk my husband into all of us going for a consultation visit with Kathy at Midwifery Traditions. That way we could all ask questions and voice our concerns and get a feel for Kathy and what this whole experience might be like.

To my immense relief and joy, Kathy was able to put my husbands fears, and any of mine, at more ease. She was professional, confident, extremely knowledgeable, down to earth, and provided resssurance about her views on dealing with complications, should they arise. Kathy took her time in answering all our questions with additional information and details and we never felt rushed or blown off regardless of what we asked. She made us feel apart of the family and was extremely willing to answer any further questions we might have if we decided to move forward. After that, my husband and I spoke more about the decision and we agreed on seeing Kathy, staying with Midwifery Traditions and having a home birth.  Yay!!

Over the course of my pregnancy, every time I left from seeing Kathy, I was blown away by the information and knowledge I got from her. I learned things about the workings of my body and pregnancy that I had never known before and that I CERTAINLY was never told by my prior doctors with my first son. She provided my husband and I with all the details of how to best prepare the house and what supplies we needed for the birth. She also gave me helpful ideas to do with my son to help get him ready for what the birth could be like. It felt like I had known her much longer than I had and my confidence and faith that this birthing experience was going to be perfect for me and my family, became truly established.

My water broke at home around 8:45pm the night before my due date. My husband sprung into action getting things ready and my son ran around the house saying “the baby is coming” with the most heart warming excited smile ever. I called Kathy around 10:15 when my contractions became too hard to talk through and close together. She arrived quickly and calmly and I got myself into the birth pool. She made sure I had eaten something and was drinking plently of fluids. During labor Kathy was calm and gave quiet, kind, but firm reassurance of how I was doing. The nurse showed up shortly after and she was also very calm and kind. Once I got to active labor and was really physically pushing myself, Kathy and the nurse were supportive and extremely attentive and prepared. They reminded me of a well oiled machine. All I needed to do was concentrate on what I was doing and bringing my baby into this world. Looking around right before my baby was born I remember seeing my sons face watching intently and my husband holding my hand through it all. And then seeing Kathy and the nurse and knowing these two people are truly invested in me, my family and this baby that was about to be born. I wasn’t just patient number 3725 that they saw that day. They were just as excited and caring about this baby as I was. With no complications and a few hard and fast pushes later, my son was born, on his due date at 12:45am. Healthy and hungry!

After the birth Kathy and the nurse worked thoroughly to stitch me up and check the baby and get all his testing and measurements done. Once that was over, Kathy and the nurses did most of the major clean up work so my husband and I could focus on the baby. They both stayed till I had eaten something and was in bed with the baby. I never felt like they were rushing or eager to leave, even though it was 3:15 am! In the days that followed Kathy came back to do more tests and check up on the baby and me. She always took her time and answered questions with details and information. She made herself easily available by phone and was quick to respond with any follow up questions I had about myself or my son.

This birth was everything I had ever hoped for. I was able to feel supported, loved, confident, respected and empowered through the entire process, start to finish and then some! I will forever be thankful for meeting Kathy and her major role in providing an unforgettable, deeply important and beautiful pregnancy and birthing experience.

Before my husband Chad and I decided to start our family, I knew I wanted to research pregnancy and the type of birth options available. With that in mind, I picked up Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth, and fell in love with the birth stories and philosophies. Ina May’s quote “Remember this, for it is as true and true gets: Your body is not a lemon” really resonated with me, and I knew immediately I wanted to work with a midwife once we were expecting. When we researched midwives in the area and found Midwifery Traditions, I was so excited to see there was a practice that very much believed in the same philosophies. We made an appointment for a consultation and after meeting Kathy at 8 weeks pregnant it was a no-brainer. We knew we wanted Kathy, Alison and Kara as our midwives, and were hopeful if all went smoothly throughout the pregnancy we could have our baby at home.

My pregnancy had been a dream. I barely had morning sickness, was able to sleep most nights, and never got too uncomfortable. I seriously had never felt better! I felt the baby drop just shy of 37 weeks after a walk at the park, and thought “Oh no!” I wanted those last 3 weeks! Even though we had all the birth supplies and had done all our research, gone to home birth classes with Brittany from Blossoming Bellies, hired an amazing Doula who also had 2 homebirths with Midwifery Traditions, I wanted the full 40 week experience. The baby and pregnancy had been so good to me, why rush it? I had heard the baby could drop weeks before labor, so I was hopeful we could make it a little longer.

The night of Thursday June 29th (38 weeks and 2 days), I got off work, and felt the need to do a huge food shop. This was kind of ridiculous, as 1-week prior our refrigerator was showing signs it was on the fritz. The new refrigerator wasn’t coming until the following week and my husband was doing his best to clean out the old one. When he came home and saw that I had done a good size shop at both Trader Joes and Wegmans, he was a little perplexed! Around 10:30 that night I started to feel mild contractions, which lasted all night and into the morning. By 8:30 am they had subsided to one every 15 to 30 minutes and they were still pretty mild. I wrote the midwives an email to give them a heads up, but also knowing full well this could go on for days.

Friday I worked on my laptop from my bedroom, and drank lots of water. I got off work at 4:30pm, and by 4:45 the contractions were back and they were not as mild as before. Chad had tried to blow up our birth pool during the week to ensure it would hold air, and the pump we had received with it stopped working after 5 minutes. I decided it was time to go get another pump just in case. I went to the store and grabbed a cart knowing I didn’t even need one. I just needed something to hold onto in case I got a contraction. When I got home with the new pump, I ate some dinner and watched some TV, timing the contractions all the way. Chad got home from work around 10:30pm and his brother Perry, who had come down from Astoria for 4th of July weekend, arrived shortly after. We were all talking in the living room while Chad blew up the birth pool, and every 10 minutes I would have to walk away and stretch out through a contraction. I still thought this was just the beginning and could go on for days. Allison’s voice kept repeating in my head “Don’t give all your energy and power to early labor.” And I was doing my best not too.

I fell asleep around midnight, but by 1:30am I was up and logging my contractions as medium instead of mild. They were starting to go from 10 minutes to 8 to 5 minutes, back up to 8 minutes. No clear pattern, but they were getting intense. I lost my dinner around 2:30am and decided I needed to shower. In the middle of the night while everyone slept, I was taking a 40-minute super hot shower. It felt awesome and I noticed the contractions started to subside a little. I drank some water and kept timing the contractions. I threw up again at 5am, and decided I needed another hot shower. This time the contractions stayed with me through it, and didn’t subside as they did earlier. I got back in bed and I started to wake Chad up to rub my back every time I got a contraction. Around 6:30am I called Kathy to tell her what was going on. I knew on paper it didn’t seem like I was in active labor. I kept thinking of the 4-1-1 rule we had learned about contractions, 4 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour. Kathy said it sounded like I was in early labor and that I should try and get some sleep since I had been up all night for 2 nights now. I could have another day and a half ahead of me. I asked if I should send Chad to work, she said absolutely.

I tried to sleep but the contractions were just as steady, and I was starting to see other signs that this could be more. I called Kathy back around 8:45am, and just as the phone was ringing I started to have a contraction, I handed the phone to Chad since I couldn’t speak. Kathy answered and Chad said, “Hi Kathy, This is Chad…” and Kathy said, “So you didn’t go to work.” Still makes me smile to hear her say that! He told her of some of my newer symptoms and she said she would send someone over to check on me.

Allison showed up and I was still in bed working through contractions. Allison went to hear the baby’s heart beat and said all sounded fine, which was a relief since I hadn’t felt the baby move as much in the last couple hours. Then she asked if I wanted her to check me. This is something I thought I did not want throughout my labor. I knew psychologically if I thought I was more dilated than I was, I would be disappointed and didn’t want the mind trip to stall labor. But at this point I was desperate to know what was going on. I said yes and Allison said, “Well you’re 6 to 7 cm and I can feel the head. I’ve seen you through a few contractions and you’re not acting like someone who is 6 to 7 cm, so I no longer trust you! I’m going to go get my things. Chad, I would start to fill the pool.” Oh my gosh, I was so relieved. That entire night was not for nothing!

Allison started to set up and Chad started to fill the pool. I stayed in bed and tried to work my way through each contraction, no longer timing them. Allison would stop what she was doing and come over and give me a back rub through the contractions, which felt amazing. I remember telling her to teach Chad to rub my back; she obviously knew what she was doing! My brother-in-law Perry came to say bye since he was heading to my in-law’s house, and he looked pretty excited. Around 11:30 I went to use the bathroom and birthed my water bag intact. I naively said, “I think I fell the head!” which still makes me laugh. If only it were that easy!

I got in the pool, and it felt amazing! I don’t know why I didn’t ask Chad to fill it sooner, I immediately felt relief. I was hanging over the side of the pool and saw Kathy come in. It was really happening! The water felt great and with each contraction I would try and keep my jaw loose as I had read and let out a groan. Chad was right next to me rubbing my back or shoulders, giving me a sip of the Vitamin Water. Around noon Kara came in and I was to the point I was starting to bear down with each contraction. I didn’t want to “push” per say, I just wanted to see where each contraction took me and again keep my jaw loose and let out a good groan. I remember feeling like baby was very close, and I got frustrated at one point at let out some sort of profanity. I also think I yelled at our dog Aesop who was prancing in and out of the room to see what is going on to “Go lie down!” Poor boy, he was just excited! Within the next few contractions, I could feel her head and during one last good contraction, I felt her make her way into this world. I said “Oh it burns!” and I heard Kathy said, “I know it does, you’re almost there!” and within seconds, she came out fully and fast, with her left hand up near her face. Allison would later say she came out like super woman!

Allison handed me our little girl and I kept her on my chest with Chad behind us, we were so happy and excited! Kara gave us lots of warm blankets and towels to keep our little girl warm. I am forever thankful that Kathy grabbed my cell phone and took all those early photos. One of my good friends who’s a photographer was going to come and document the birth, but things happened so fast I didn’t even have notice to tell her to come over. As a photographer, having those images of those first moments means the world to me.

They moved us to the bed to birth the placenta. Chad cut the cord and before they started to stitch me up, Kathy said should we find out if it’s a boy or girl? It had been almost 30 minutes and we didn’t know yet! Kathy removed the towel and we saw we had a little girl! We were both over the moon! I know we would have been happy either way, but my husband comes from a long line of boys, and we just assumed that was what we were having. All my pregnancy symptoms pointed to having a boy, I even bought little newborn hats that were blue with monkeys for the birth since I couldn’t find any gender-neutral hats. We were over the moon! The first girl to be born from his side in a long time!

In the following hours I was stitched up, little Leona started nursing immediately and Chad made me a peanut butter and banana sandwich. After I stitched up, Kathy and Kara had to go to another birth, and Allison stayed behind to give our girl her newborn exam and make sure I got a shower. After Alison left we spent the night cuddling with our little girl in our own bed, and feeling so much gratitude to Kathy, Alison and Kara for giving us the most amazing birth experience we could have asked for. We were over the moon she was here!

My daughter just turned 4, and I cherish the memories surrounding her birth. We had moved to Philadelphia when I was already 7 months pregnant. My son was born at home in NYC, but now that we had moved I was looking for someone who would support me through this process, with whom I would feel safe and well-taken care of. Kathy was everything I was looking for, and more: a source of so much wisdom and support, she was truly a stellar care provider in every way. A few weeks shy of my due date I contracted a stomach virus, or food poisoning, and thought I might be going into labor. Kathy was on the phone with my husband on and off checking in on me and came to my home to check as well. In the end, it was just sickness and it passed, but for the next few weeks I felt like I was already overdue. Ora’s arrival couldn’t come too soon for me, and by the time I woke up at about 5AM on Tuesday, Dec 17, with the first incontrovertible signs of labor I was more than ready. Kathy sent her assistant, and followed shortly thereafter. Labor was quick, if painful, and there was not time to set up the IV for antibiotics (I was strep b positive), let alone the tub (that’s a reason to have another baby! I didn’t get to use a tub my son either, active labor went relatively quickly with him as well!). Soon enough I was pushing, with Kathy and her assistant, and my husband, all offering support, and Kathy giving me specific instructions on how to push, when to relax (I didn’t tear at all!). Pushing went on for longer than expected because of positioning, but soon enough she emerged and with her so much light–which is what her name, Ora, means. Very blessed to have had Kathy support me through this journey and highly recommend her!

It is so hard to know where to start with this story! I guess I can begin with my decision to use Midwifery Traditions for care during my second pregnancy. My first son had been delivered at the hospital. I was 42 weeks pregnant and had nearly every intervention to try and get him to come. My labor was 46 hours long and I ended up with a painful birth injury–a far cry from the intervention-free natural birth I was picturing. When I became pregnant with my second child in the spring of 2016, I knew that I wanted to have a home birth. After meeting with the midwives at MT, I left the appointment smiling. They were genuinely excited about women and birth and eased so many of my fears in that very first appointment. I decided to start care with them and plan for a home birth.

I was due on January 19th, 2017. As that date approached and passed, I began to be fearful that I was in for another late baby and a hard labor. I did everything possible to naturally induce labor, as I did with my first. I did the Miles Circuit everyday, ate entire pineapples, drank Red Raspberry Leaf tea like I owned stock in it, and did lots of other things ;). Sadly, nothing seemed to be working. I had passed the 41 week mark and started getting serious. I was fearful of another hospital induction. The midwives were so encouraging throughout all of this. Kathy reminded me that I chose homebirth for a reason and that they would do many different things to get labor moving before sending me to the hospital. Still, I decided to try for a castor oil induction when I was 41 + 3 days pregnant on a Saturday. (Castor oil helped put me into labor with my first). I spent the entire day in the bathroom feeling awful but baby stayed put. Good friends of mine had decided to cook a turkey dinner (spoiler alert: turkey dinner is a recurrent theme in this story) and invited us over. Eating a delicious turkey dinner was the consolation prize for not having a baby. My husband, my 2 1/2 year old, and I stuffed our faces and went home happy.

On Sunday morning, I woke to mild contractions at 4am. “Oh, right. THIS is what labor contractions feel like,” I thought. They were so gentle and manageable but were coming regularly enough that I was unable at sleep. At 6 am, I woke my husband and told him what was going on. I decided that I would call Kathy at 7, knowing that second babies can sometimes come much faster than first babies (ha. little did I know….). At 7, I called Kathy and let her know that I was having mild contractions and some spotting. She told me to keep her posted throughout the day. I was group B strep positive and would need antibiotics at some point before delivery so we were conscious of that. I made arrangements for my neighbors to take my son to church and for my sister to hang with him during the afternoon if needed. My husband, Brandon, and I spent the morning resting and doing some cleaning/organizing. The contractions were uncomfortable but the spacing was ALL over the place. Some would be 7 minutes apart, or 10 minutes apart, or 4 minutes apart! I wasn’t falling into a consistent laboring rhythm.

In the early afternoon, I started to get antsy about moving the labor along. My sister was hanging at our house (with her fiancé) while our son, Norris, napped. Brandon and I decided to go for a walk in the neighborhood to get things going. I was still having discharge and the contractions were fairly uncomfortable at this point. We walked to a bake shop in our neighborhood and I had a ton of contractions on the way. When we got to the bakery and sat down to eat some sweet treats, labor completely. Stopped. For a good 30 minutes, I had zero contractions and felt so frustrated. What was happening with my body?? I was convinced that being my second labor, I would be holding a baby by now. When we walked home, I felt so discouraged. Contractions came fast and furious when I was moving and spaced out a ton when I was settled. Should I be trying to move things along or should I be resting and wait for my body to do its thing? I texted my doula, Lydia, throughout the day. She was so encouraging and gave me advice. She told me to relax, eat some spicy food for dinner, and watch a movie. I took her advice! My parents were coming late that afternoon to pick up Norris so he could go to their house. I decided that a big family dinner of Indian food would be a great distraction from my irregular labor.

At dinner (with my husband, son, dad, mom, sister, soon to be brother-in-law), the contractions seemed to be picking up in intensity. I could no longer talk through them and found myself breathing deeply when they came. I was sitting next to my brother-in-law and am sure I made him uncomfortable when I would put my head down mid-sentence and work through a contraction! They were lasting for about a minute at this point. My mom made a comment about how they seemed to be coming consistently and I agreed. I had definitely felt things pick up. After dinner, we said goodbye to my family and my son. It was very emotional for me to say goodbye to Norris. I knew our family was about to change and that he would come home to a new baby brother or sister and it felt so strange sending him away. As much as I would have loved to have him there for the birth, I realized that focusing on this baby was the best thing for me.

After everyone left, we went upstairs to our third floor and got to work. We kept the lighting dim and I worked through painful contractions. I called Kathy to let her know that the contractions were closer together. They were still inconsistent but they were five minutes apart on average. Lydia came over to help me work through my labor as well. When Kara and Alison arrived that evening, they immediately started unpacking all of their labor equipment and setting up the space for a baby. I was so excited to know that things were moving along! Kara asked to check me to know how far along I was (mostly to determine when to administer the antibiotics). I was so sad to hear that I was only 2 cm dilated and that the baby was very high. After an entire day of labor, I was barely progressing. I was having flashbacks to my first birth where I was given Pitocin due to my “irregular contractions” and “insufficient contractions” and feared that my body was just broken. Kara and Alison recommended that they leave the space and let me rest. When Kathy arrived shortly after (around 9 PM), she told me to rest and that they were leaving. I was so frustrated at my body. Lydia left too and Brandon and I were alone again. Alison told me to take some Benadryl to help me sleep between contractions and I did. That night was AWFUL. I was so groggy and out of it and my contractions became very intense during the night. They would wake me up out of a dead sleep and I would have to jump to hands and knees and moan to get through them. I had a ton of bloody show throughout the night and it felt endless.

On Monday morning, I felt so sad. My contractions, while painful, were spaced out like crazy. Some would be 20 minutes apart and others were on top of each other. I never got into a consistent rhythm. I went on a google search frenzy and tried to figure out if my baby was just not positioned correctly. I called Kara crying at one point in the morning, looking for some advice. She reassured me that my body wasn’t broken and that I WOULD have a baby at some point. In the meantime, I could do whatever was in my control to help move things along if I wanted to. I decided to set up an acupuncture and chiropractic appointment that day to help move things along.

Brandon and I walked to the acupuncture clinic in our neighborhood (my acupuncturist had seen me MANY times that past week!) and I asked for special, intense labor treatment. She put me in a private room and I was close to porcupine status with all of the needles she had in me. The contractions in that room hurt and I wasn’t able to move because of the position I was in. After acupuncture, we walked to a café to get some breakfast sandwiches. At this point, I felt like I had labored in every business in the city! I ate my food between awful contractions, moaning quietly at our table. At home, I barely rested. I did the miles circuit positions, including side walking up the stairs, for hours. I googled rebozo technique and had Brandon jiggle my belly with a sheet. I tried EVERYTHING! Around 4PM, we got in the car to leave for the chiropractic appointment. I had one contraction as we pulled out of our parking space and immediately started sobbing. There was no way I could cope with these contractions while stuck in traffic. We rounded the block and re-parked.

This was the lowest point of my labor. The contractions were so intense and while I was able to get in such a great coping rhythm with my first son’s labor, this labor was all over the place. I never knew when the contractions would hit and needed help getting through them. I draped my body over an exercise ball and cried and cried. My husband is a TV director and totally took advantage of this moment. Ha! He filmed a “confessional” and I voiced all of my fears and anxieties, thinking the baby would never come. Kara called and said that she wanted to come visit around 7PM just to check on me and discuss our options for next steps. I had been in labor for 36 hours at this point and my contractions were still irregular in spacing. Knowing that Kara was coming was a huge relief. I tried to make some butter noodles for dinner and suddenly had no appetite. I was reading a book between contractions and Brandon would use a massager with all of his force on my lower back during contractions. Since they were weirdly spaced, I would just shout at him as soon as they started and he would come running. We gave up on contraction timing!

We went up to the third floor to labor and Kara came around 8 PM. She was surprised to see how hard I was working through contractions and told me that if we didn’t have a baby by the next day, we might want to consider going to the hospital. They were afraid that I wouldn’t have the strength to push out a baby if I labored through another night. I felt completely at peace with that decision. Kara checked me and felt that I was 5cm dilated, very soft, and that baby was lower. She was so encouraged and told me she thought I would have the baby by the morning! This made me so excited. She left me with some blue and black cohosh to keep things moving and told me to take them in alternating doses every 15 minutes. We texted Lydia to have her come back and decided to take a shower to help with some pain relief. When Kara left, she said that she would go home and wait for us to call when contractions were consistently 4 minutes apart (this never happened..the entire.labor.). A few minutes after she left, she texted me back. She was going to get changed and come right back with Alison to give me antibiotics. Kathy would follow later.

Once Lydia came over around 9 PM, I was in the best mood. I was reading a book and listening to my labor playlist with headphones on. I was coping with the contractions well now that I felt the end was in sight. Brandon and Lydia watched an episode of the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and cracked jokes. They alternated using counter pressure on my back during each contraction. At some point, Lydia started timing my contractions and must have gotten panicked because Brandon called the midwives to make sure they were coming. They could tell that things were intensifying for me. At 10 PM, Kara and Alison arrived and started my IV. I was still in disbelief- “Are you sure I’m going to have this baby within four hours? I don’t think I’m that close.” I was cracking jokes between contractions and felt good. We set up the birth pool in the landing outside of our bedroom. Brandon had decorated the space with lights and candles and they put my labor playlist on the speakers. It really was beautiful and so peaceful. At this point (close to 11 PM), I was still chatting between contractions and having a good time. Brandon was still directing his film project (aka the birth). Things started to intensify and I no longer spoke between contractions. I stayed upright on my knees, draped over the side of the pool. I read affirmation cards between contractions and Brandon and Lydia BOTH pushed on my back for counter pressure when contractions happened.

I remember Kathy coming in at some point and commenting on how low the water in the tub was! I don’t remember why, but we had the water SO low. I had thought I might like a water birth for this baby but didn’t have my heart set on it. I did really enjoy laboring in the tub. I started going through transition—marked by my asking Lydia “how much longer will this last” and telling Alison “my butt realllllyyyy hurts. I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt like this!”. They both reassured me that baby was moving down. Contractions were on top of each other and I suddenly felt the urge to push. I told Alison- “I think I need to push. Or poop. I don’t know! I can’t figure it out.” She told me that if I was pushing uncontrollably, I should let my body push.. but that if I just had to poop, I could do that as well. I felt my water bag bulging and wanted to know if I was ready to push. I got out of the tub and laid on the bed. When Alison checked me, she said that I was fully dilated with a little bit of lip and that the baby was low! She told me that I was nice and soft and I tried to make an awkward joke about primrose oil and how it smells like turkey dinner (seriously- open a capsule and check it out). Everyone was confused and didn’t get the joke. While Brandon was trying to clarify my nonsense for the rest of the room, I felt a crazy contraction come on and grabbed Brandon and my water broke like a huge water balloon all over the floor. I immediately felt the baby crown and asked to go back to the pool. Brandon and Lydia helped me and I got back into the position on my knees. The ring of fire was happening. It was real. I asked Kathy what I should do about the burning and she told me that I could breathe through contractions when the burning started happening. “The burning is happening,” I said. “Now??” She asked. I then calmly stated that I could feel my baby’s head and everyone started laughing. They had no idea the baby was so close to coming out.

I breathed through a few contractions because I was terrified of tearing again, but that urge to push was REAL. It felt amazing that my body was just doing it on its own, I didn’t experience that at all with my first birth. I told Brandon that the baby had lots of hair (!!!!) and he reached down to feel it. At 12:06 AM (after being in the tub for five minutes), I decided to not breathe through a contraction and I pushed my baby out in one push. Kara and Brandon guided the baby to my chest and I picked baby up, clutching and sobbing. I sobbed and held the baby for a minute until I checked and saw that it was a girl! A girl! I started sobbing some more when I knew I was meeting sweet Demi Jean. After a few minutes, the midwives helped me to the bed to deliver the placenta. They were so excited for me and so professional. They worked on helping me deliver the placenta while Lydia gave me something to drink and fed me pizza and apple slices in bed. I had a minor 1st degree tear that needed a few stitches but I was overjoyed. This tear was nothing! Demi Jean was the most chill baby ever. She didn’t cry at all during those first couple of hours and just looked around and latched like a champ. I got to take a shower soon after having her and we were snuggled in bed by 1:30 AM. The midwives checked her and me and left at 2 AM. In the morning, we were greeted by my parents and big brother Norris. He jumped on the bed and held her little finger, telling us how cute she was.

My homebirth with Midwifery Traditions was more incredible than I had thought it could be. Despite a very long and inconsistent labor, I am so grateful for a provider who recognized that labor can look many different ways and that they supported me and encouraged me and allowed me to have my baby without medical intervention.

At 40 weeks, and as VBAC Mamma, I started to feel the pressure of going into labor before needing to be induced. I met with my midwife that day and we made a plan for the next week. I met with an acupuncturist, ate Indian food, and took some evening primrose oil. I didn’t know what, if anything, would work for me, but I was willing to try it all! Before bed on Tuesday, I spent a few moments talking with my boy, and I told him I was ready to meet him, and that his big brother was getting impatient!

That night, October 29th, 2013, I awoke around 11 pm, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, my water broke! Contractions started right away, a good sign, and after messaging my doula, we spent the night sleeping and contracting. Jason held my hand through each contraction, and I started getting really excited to have a baby. Kathy and my doula arrived around noon on Wednesday, and things started to get going. I labored in and out of the shower, on the steps, in my bed, wherever I could to relieve some of the discomfort. I was checked in the late afternoon, and had dilated to just about 3 cm. We decided to leave for the hospital, Einstein Memorial Medical Center, around 6pm, and continue labor there. My birth plan shifted slightly once arriving at the hospital, and I opted for an epidural later that evening. It was a long night of labor, though I was able to sleep some. By 7 AM, I was ready to push, and couldn’t wait even a minute longer to meet my boy! After three hours of pushing, it was time for a caesarean birth. Finn’s heart rate had dropped a few times, and he was just unable to push through. This time was different however, I was at ease, I trusted that my care team was making the best decisions for me, and that we were doing what was best for my baby.

Shortly after, at 10:30 in the morning on October 31st, 2013, I heard Finn’s cry, I saw his beautiful head, and just moments later kissed his sweet cheeks. Finn was able to stay in the operating room with me, and head right to recovery with me, where I was able to start breastfeeding him immediately. We were still able to accommodate many of the wishes I had for my baby.

Despite the outcome being different than I had planned, I am totally at peace with my birth, I had wonderful care under Kathy, and was able to stay calm having her with me the entire time. Both Kathy, and the nurses at Einstein gave Finn and I the best start we could have together, and we are eternally grateful.